OH THE HORROR
by From Spark to Flame
Summary: /He was a prefect and should therefore have been patrolling the corridors instead of sitting down and cracking open a cheesy, cliché, horrible, vomit inducing, nonsense filled book that he couldn’t help but laugh at...hysterically./ DMHG


Disclaimer: The HP series belogns to JKR and the Twilight one to Stephanie Meyer.

A/N: Eh...I was bored...We have a sub in English because our teacher's mom died. -sniffle- But so...I avoided the classwork and wrote this...

Warning: Slight Twilight bashing...Okay maybe a bit mroe than slight...Not enoguh to anger anyone hopefully...So Twilight readers should still like it...I actually used to be a Twilight fangirl...So...-shrug-

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"Oh my gosh!" Draco Malfoy cried in surprise, his eyes wide and mouth agape. His eyes bugged out and the corners of his mouth twitched upward slightly as he tried to hold in his smile. His gaze was fixed on the book in his hands, his mouth moving along silently as he read the words. "Oh my gosh…" He repeated as he read the newest, cheesy line. Suddenly, he couldn't hold it in anymore. The laughter erupted from his mouth, echoing through the hallways of Hogwarts.

That's how Hermione came upon him. The hysterical teen was rolling on the floor laughing his ass of with a book clutched in tightly in his hands.

Hermione raised an eyebrow at the sight, her hand poised on her hips and her right foot tapping in her annoyed stance. She voiced the one question running through her mind, "Malfoy, What are you doing," making sure to put extra emphasis on the 'what'.

Oh what Hermione would have paid to have had a camera then. The look on Malfoy's face was picture worthy. A Kodak moment at the very least, if not worthy of the Guineas Book of World Records.

The other teen immediately tried stifling his laughter, slowly ending up in just snickers. His eyes were once again wide with alarm. Shock was written all over his face. A pink flush graced his cheeks and his hair was in disarray, very much contradicting his usual slicked back, meat and tidy look. His gaze was directed at Hermione, and a snarl rose to his face.

"None of your business Granger. Now go shoo. Make out with Weasel or Pothead. Or maybe both, knowing you," he spat at her, trying to cover up the unusualness of the situation. After all, he was a prefect and should therefore have been patrolling the corridors instead of sitting down and cracking open a cheesy, cliché, horrible, vomit inducing, nonsense filled book that he couldn't help but laugh at… hysterically.

Hermione bit her lip, but held her stance, looking down at him and attempting to look intimidating. "Don't make me slap you again," she replied, the words slipping coolly off her tongue with an eerie serenity.

Malfoy's upper lip curled as he sent the girl a glare, a small blush rising to his cheeks. "Oh no! You're going to slap me!" Sarcasm dripped from his voice like water from a leaky faucet. It was loud and obvious. "Oh help me! Superman come save me! Or maybe Edward Cullen will come and rescue me from my attacker's wrath." His voice was raised in a high pitched tone that most boys used when they tried to imitate a girl.

Needless to say, Hermione was intrigued by Malfoy's sudden mention of the most well known fictional vampire of the century. "Edward Cullen?" she questioned, confusion evident in her voice.

"Yeah. You know that bogus vampire from that cheesy Twilight novel," Malfoy replied offhandedly, clutching his book harder in his hand and hiding it in his robes. Hermione pretended not to notice.

"I know who he is," Hermione started in annoyance, "but how do you know who he is?" Her eyebrow rose in question and the blush on Malfoy's face deepened as he shuffled his robes around a bit.

"Pansy won't shut up about how dreamy he is," Malfoy responded offhandedly.

"He's a book character," Hermione pointed out, causing Draco to groan in agreement.

"I know, Pathetic isn't it?" Malfoy said, "And now, she's obsessing over that Robert Pattison guy…speaking of that guy, he looks rather like Cedric doesn't he?"

Hemrione ignored that question, the idea bringing to much sadness. "Hmm…Lavender does that too. Obsess, I mean. I mean 'hello people! Get a life!' He's a fictional character, for Pete's sake."

"Oh, like you have a life," Malfoy responded with the same sarcasm as he had used earlier on her. A snarl adorned his face and a smirk played across his lips.

Hermione rolled her eyes and let the insult pass over her before making her own comeback, "I'm not the one sitting on the floor in a deserted hallway in the middle of the night reading Twilight."

"How did you know I was reading Twilight?" the other teen asked, his hands automatically going to the book which he had placed in his robes.

"Because you brought Cullen up from nowhere. Knowing human nature, it had to be instigated by something. And the cover of the book you where reading is black, red and white. It's obviously Twilight. What other book is like that" Hermione responded a matter of factly.

"Oh?" Malfoy questioned, raising an eyebrow at her deduction skills. Then again, she was the brightest witch in Hogwarts. It would be quite pitiful if she hadn't realized it was Twilight.

"And also, you were laughing. Anyone in their right mind would laugh at the sappy wet dream of Stephanie Meyer's. Especially the sparkle part." Hermione pointed out, mentioning Edward's horrible sparkling abilities.

"Oh! That was what I was laughing at! What sort of self-respecting vampire would sparkle? They are dark creatures, not little unicorns. Meyer didn't even mention turning into a bat. Where are her facts?!It's all wrong."

Hermione nodded in agreement and took a seat next to Malfoy, "have you heard of the werewolves?"

Malfoy was intrigued immediately, "Werewolves?"

"Oh, if you think the vampires are horrible, the werewolves are atrocious!" Hermione exclaimed before starting her explanation.

…Before starting her first civil conversation with Draco Malfoy. The first of many, and those not just about Twilght's suckiness. The start of a subtle and slow romance…much unlike that of Twilight's. This was a vampire-less romance.

Oh the horror.

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A/N: -snicker- Yeah... This is my boredom...

It actually has a wierd story behind it...I didn't know what to write about so I was playing with my nails, which I had recently painted...SO now they're all sparkley...And I was mulling over the sparkliness when my mind wandered to Edward's sparkliness and how ceesy it was. And this resulted. Hehe...

Review pleaaaaaaaaaaaasssseeeee! I beg you! I'm on my knees here...Please...Spread the looooooooveeeeee!

XOXO

Flame


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